Server Survival Evolved / Ark: Survival Evolved
April 3, 2016
Strategic Operations Division Report 4-4-2946
April 3, 2016

Cuvée Alex Le Rouge, 10.3% ABV

This is the first beer I’ve ever had from the French brewery, Brasserie BFM.   Come to think about it, isn’t that also the name of a ladies undergarment?  I’ll never understand the French language.  One thing about the French though, they apparently know how to get smashed in new and interesting ways!  Nothing about this brew was what I expected it to be, yet it ended up being an interesting, and wholly not too unpleasant a surprise.   First, I saw the word “Rouge” which I assumed meant “red”.  That along with the pop-top bottle I’ve seen on a handful of other fancy beers, made me think I was buying a Belgian sour-red.   This stuff is about as far from that as you can go on the beer scale… it’s an Imperial stout.  Yea, yea… I suppose I could have read that off the side of the bottle in the big red communist star… but I was two-and-a-half sheets to the wind that night having had about eight of the various drafts at the bar (doing research), and I wanted to snag a take-home six-pack.  I didn’t read, so much as I just grabbed random bottles from the shelf.  As a brain-smashingly 10.3% Imperial, it was hoppy like an IPA; and it was smooth totally not like an IPA.  It had a mild taste for an Imperial and there was no bitterness or taste of alcohol that’s common in these high-proof beers.  There are tastes of fruit as well in the beer, though nothing too overpowering.  This is not a fruit-beer.  Then there was the pepper.  Yes, a distinct black-pepper taste with every sip, and granules at the bottom of the bottle.  Another surprise, but not an unpleasant one, because it  works really well with this brew. Overall, I’m impressed enough to get a few more bottles.  Serve ice-cold in place of that sissy French wine along with Beef Bourguignon.  Invite a mime over for kicks and see if you can get her smashed on this stuff.

Mikkeller Beer Geek Breakfast, 7.5% ABV

Oh Mikkeller… you ultimate brew-geeks.  You have so many different brews, not even you can keep track of them!  I decided to try another one of their beers, though the last one I had and reviewed was not the friendliest thing I’ve put into my body.  So I decided to go the safer route and picked up “Beer Geek’s Breakfast”!  What is the Beer Geek’s Breakfast you might ask?  Why, it’s an Oatmeal-Coffee Stout of course!  What take all that time to wake up, make coffee, microwave some oatmeal, yadda-yadda, when you can grab one of these, chug it down and be out the door in no time!Oh Mikkeller… saving us those precious minutes during our dreary days.   Beer Geek’s Breakfast tastes like your typical oatmeal stout.  Thick and creamy, pours bure black.  The toasty, caramel taste of oatmeal and the rich, potent taste of coffee is front and center with every sip  making this one well balanced smooth drinker.  Next time you’re in a hurry to get out the door to your day job, save a few minutes and snag one of these.  Just make sure nobody sees you drinking in the car… or better yet, fill your thermos with them.  On the weekends, serve chilled with a side of bacon and eggs and the morning newspaper, preferably while watching Saturday morning cartoons.